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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664677">How wrong can a mission go?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caliras/pseuds/RPFuck'>RPFuck (Caliras)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Blood, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Gun Violence, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, Non-Graphic Violence, Sarcasm, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:40:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664677</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caliras/pseuds/RPFuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On a mission, Dan is the last active operative in the building. The only problem is that he's been shot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Some rules because this was written about real people or contains caricatures of them. Reading further than the rules means you accept them.</p><ol>
<li>Do not harass the people I’ve written about- while this should go without saying, do <i><b>not</b></i> bring this up to them. If I find out that somebody is doing this, I will lock the fic so that only registered users can read it. If you are someone I’ve written about and are uncomfortable with RPF, tell me and I will remove my fics. I don't really mind. My twitter is <a href="https://twitter.com/_RPFuck_">@_RPFuck_</a> if you'd like to contact me. If anyone I write about says they are uncomfortable with RPF, I will remove it once I’m aware.</li>
<li>If this fic is deleted and you have it downloaded or saved it through other means, don’t reupload it. Don’t.</li>
<li>If you are unused to the site, heed the tags. They’re there for a reason.</li>
<li>(Optional since I know how anxiety is sometimes) If you have anything that says that the people I am writing about are uncomfortable with RPF, I would really appreciate it if you sent it to me. Also, if it’s a ship fic and they have a partner or partners who are uncomfortable with it, feel free to send that over too!</li>
</ol><p>That’s it for the rules, so thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the fic!</p><hr/><p>Other notes: Inspired by Onyx's artworks; <a href="https://twitter.com/VerdSpy/status/1259883518378889216">thread</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/VerdSpy/status/1274087626534944775">single tweet</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/VerdSpy/status/1275676564903145472">another single tweet</a><br/>TW; art of guns (first, second, and third link), knifes (first and barely in the second), a grenade (third), off-screen animal death (first), and some blood (first)<br/>Also, I had to post this fic quick because I wanted it out but my computer was dying, so if I missed any tags feel free to inform me<br/>Edit; I probably used 'fuck' wayy too much but I refuse to change anything<br/>Edit2; David -&gt; Daithi as it should've been but I had no idea what I was doing</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’d fucked this mission up. Like really, <em>really</em> badly. Daithi had been knocked out about fifteen minutes ago, luckily he’d been close enough to Seán that he was able to drag Daithi into one of their ‘safe’ zones. Seán had somehow managed to keep on top of his information relay during this, making sure that the rest of them weren’t going to die. But that was <em>probably</em> the only thing that went right during the mission. Brian had gone silent a few minutes ago, punctuated by the sharp hiss of static that usually signaled a broken comm. Dan had no idea what Kevin was doing, other than that he was <em>meant</em> to be patrolling outside to help Brian out. He kinda wondered what happened to that, but since Kevin hadn’t spoken up about Brian getting hurt, it might be fine. Might be. He sincerely hoped it was though, given that Brian was their sniper and therefore the only one capable at this moment to help Dan out should he get into trouble- given that he stayed by windows and the north side of the building.</p><p>As for Dan himself? Well, if you could ignore the bullet wound on his side, he was doing great! Absolutely fantastic! Never been better! He exhaled grimly, breath coming out in shaky bursts as he picked up his limping pace. It had only managed to graze him, but, to be honest, he’d have preferred it to have hit his chest. You know, where his fucking bulletproof vest was. The same one that he had complained about not hours before that it was too short, but since his other one had somehow gotten lost, this was the only one they had. Yeah, that fucking one. It had left about a three inch gap of his torso exposed, and the bastard that shot him had tagged him just above his hip. Fucker was either a very good or very lucky shot. Who knows, he didn’t ask before he shot back. Not that it mattered, the point was- he got shot.</p><p>He wasn’t doing himself any favors either, moving as fast as he was. Even with his makeshift bandage, his movements were making it worse, but he didn’t exactly have much of a choice. Time was running out. In about- he glanced at his watch- seventeen minutes the alarms would reset. Which would <em>most likely</em> make them go off in the process. Before that, he had to get to the top floor to wipe the computers. It would wipe the coding for the alarm too, so it wouldn’t sound and he could head back downstairs- <em>provided</em> that everything else went smoothly. If he were being honest, he wasn’t holding out much hope given his current predicament. Too bad the damn place didn’t have an elevator. Then again it wasn’t like he’d be able to use it even if they did. Too risky. So it was a good thing he’d only been four floors away when he’d gotten shot. There wasn’t much left to go now. And you know what? Being shot wasn’t even that bad! Sure, it fucking sucked, but hey, what was a little bit of blood loss?</p><p>Seán’s comm crackled to life- Daithi was waking up, but it wouldn’t be possible to send him back into action. Ah. Well, he’d expected as much, but it still made him hyper aware that he was the only active operative in the building. And not exactly in ‘perfect condition’ either. Whatever. It was either they did the job or they didn’t. No margin for error, no redos, no resets. Then again, there was apparently <em>plenty</em> of leeway considering the current state of the operation, but unfortunately, he’s pretty sure they’re at the end of their rope. As it stands, he’s the only one close enough to the computers to wipe them before the alarm sounds. He’d say it should be easy, but that would be to jinx it, if this whole thing wasn’t jinxed anyways. Maybe if he said it <em>really</em> sarcastically. Well, it was probably best not to risk it. Just in case. But, given his literal blood trail, he was guessing that things wouldn’t need bad luck to go sideways. It’d already done that. Hang on- does bad luck stack? Well, probably.</p><p>Maybe it was like- there were footsteps. He bit back a curse, eyes narrowing instinctively as he refocused his attention on the present. He let a calm run through his veins as he forgot any complaints he had or pain he was in. His foot glided silently through the air as he stepped behind- fuck. The literal worst place he could’ve- a shoddy looking plant that ended just above his eyebrows. Calm nearly leaving him, he tried his <em>damndest</em> not to seethe. Great! Goodgoodgood! This was exactly what he wanted! A fucking ‘hiding’ place that wouldn’t even work as a comedy joke in a T.V. show! Ahaha! He was <em>so</em> fucked. He could just barely see the silhouettes of two people between the leaves and stilled, slightly bending his knees so that he was at least <em>kinda</em> more hidden. His hand slowly came up to his hip, fingers curling around the grip of his gun. He breathed out, eyes tracking them carefully. Seán’s comm crackled back to life again in his ear, just about putting a stop to Dan’s heart as he delivered information to Kevin, who may or may not be listening.</p><p>He was half tempted to rip the damned earpiece out, but forced himself to remain still, only relaxing slightly as Kevin responded in the affirmative. Thank <em>christ</em> he was still listening. It was bad enough as is. Speaking of bad, the two fuckers had stopped, and while he couldn’t actually distinguish what they were saying, he wouldn’t be all that surprised if they were talking about the weather. If he were slightly more paranoid, he’d think that they were talking about the, y’know, blood trail, but there wasn’t any alarm in their voices. So unless it was a common thing to see, he was probably safe. Or at least just for now. They started walking again, coming closer to his position. He slid the gun slightly out of his holster, readying himself just as they… opened a door before disappearing through it. ...You’re joking, right?! Like, there’s no fucking way- the door closed shut behind them. Really? You’ve gotta be kidding.</p><p>Forcing himself to not think about how he would be <em>so</em> much better at running an evil organization, he left his sparse cover, heading for the next flight of stairs. But seriously though, who oversaw the training for the henchmen?! For that matter, who didn’t have an elevator?! Who had all of the most important information on a single computer?! And, yes, it was, they’d checked. And then checked again because they didn’t believe that they were that stupid. He would neve- right, moving on. He physically shook his head, pulling himself into the present. Moving on, moving on. Now was not the time to have an internal discussion talking about the competency of an organization. No matter how much it pissed him off. Whatever. He benefited from it, so he really shouldn’t be complaining.</p><p>Getting to the stairs, he sighed, preparing himself to make the climb. Of course- of <em>course</em>- he immediately made the mistake of misjudging how high the step would be, making him stomp down. Now this wouldn’t be a particularly notable thing... if he’d led with his uninjured side. New blood trickled out from between his fingers, and a sharp burning pain stretched mercilessly along his side. He came to a graceless halt, leaning heavily against the wall as he desperately sucked in air through his teeth. Nose wrinkling up in a half-snarl, he pressed his hand harder into his side, ignoring how painful a decision that turned out to be. It didn’t matter how much it hurt. It was necessary. He was bleeding far too quickly, his makeshift bandage soaked through. It needed the pressure.</p><p>Fourteen minutes. He moved on.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>You know what’s funny about bleeding out? Everything! Ahahaha! Haha… hah... god he was tired. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel happy that he successfully wiped the data. He just knew that now he had to walk down several flights of stairs, and, quite frankly, he doesn’t think he’ll make it. A wave of exhaustion washed over him and he closed his eyes- just for a moment before he set his jaw. Turning, he took a step. Before his foot even hit the floor, Seán’s frantic voice came to life in his ear, explaining that he saw guards heading up the stairs. Oh fantastic. They must’ve found the body of the guy who shot him. Or hell, maybe they just got suspicious about the vast amount of blood on the floor. Either way, change of plans! Spinning, he headed in the other direction. Where was he going? He had no fucking clue! But given that he had no other choice, random door number three was looking promising!</p><p>You know what- he didn’t even try to catch the broom that fell forward- he really should’ve expected this. Random door number two it was! The one on top of, guess what? <em>More</em> <strong><em>fucking </em><em>stairs</em></strong>! Drumroll please~ a gust of wind grabbed at him the second the door swung open, revealing itself to be a roof access. Huh. You know what, this was both good and bad. The bad news was that he’s pretty sure he just heard them break down the door in the previous room. He had no escape. The good news was this was quite the beautiful place to die! That was... something! At least. He made room between himself and the door, pulling his gun out of its holster. Might as well go out fighting, hey?</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Well, he could now confidently say that he hadn’t, in fact gone down easy. He’d unloaded his magazine and briefed the rest of them with what was happening. Everyone else was outside the building now. He completed his mission. There were nearly a dozen bodies on the ground. And yet, even though he thought he’d come to terms with the inevitability of it, he didn’t really want to die. He placed his now empty gun back into its holster in a move that reeked of finality. His head felt like it was overstuffed with cotton. Hahaha! He could die here! Wasn’t that <em>exciting</em>! He felt like he was going to throw up- he didn’t want to die! Oh, but it was such fun! It felt like he was walking a tightrope, not quite dead yet not quite living either. The thought of anything pushing him one way or the other was… <em>fascinating</em>. And terrible. He didn’t want to die, but oh, what an adventure it would be! But do you wanna know what? He was walking a tightrope, sure, but he didn’t mind being the one to figure out which way he fell.</p><p>He laughed, out loud this time, though it turned out to be a little too breathless for his liking. A warm wetness slid down his side at the movement, soaking into his pants and dripping off of him. He didn’t feel any pain which was more than enough to send warning bells off in his head. He laughed again, quieter this time but not quite as breathless. Through a blurring vision, he saw more people creep around the door. They must’ve realized he was out of bullets. He… he wasn’t going to die by their hands. Instead, he was going to have a little bit of fun.</p><p>“I’m about to do the dumbest move in my career.”</p><p>“Dan, what are you-”</p><p>“So- so I’m going to need you to do me a favor. Just one.”</p><p>“What? Dan?!”</p><p>Y’know, it’s kinda funny how trust works. How pushing the boundary goes. Because one moment you’re scared of death, one minute, you don’t trust someone with safety scissors and the next- he turned, transforming his momentum into a sprint, ignoring the pain that flashed back up, biting into his flesh.</p><p>“DAN-”</p><p>The next you forget your fear, and trust that someone implicitly with your life. A grin broke out over his face not of his own volition as he lept forwards at the rail, launching himself off of it.</p><p>“Catch me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>♬ When I say jump, you say how high~ ♬</p><p>Alright, so, the next chapter might take a bit to post, not only because I haven't planned it out too much <strike>if anybody knows how to make him survive this, I'd love some input. I have, like, a vague idea, but a second opinion would be nice lol</strike>. But also because I have some art I want to do for this- since I'm not the greatest at art, it takes me a while to make something that I'm not hella nervous about posting. Even if it is just for a single visual gag that I don't want to get rid of. And, unrelated thing, but when writing this I had to realize that in most films where it has to be all ~secrective~ they put the stairs on opposite sides of the building almost every time instead of a stairwell for dramatic tension. I mean, I guess I don't get out much, but even so I don't think I've ever seen that? Man, fuck writing. This is already a long note, but I refuse to not say why Brian is the sniper- red scope, in reference to his character dude.<br/>Anyways, have these memes I thought of while making this.</p><p>Dan, after losing who knows how much blood: I've got a plan.<br/>Everyone else: You haven't got shit!<br/>Dan, already flinging himself off of the building: I've got one.</p><p>Dan: I'm sacred of death, no I'm not. I don't really want to die... unless? No, I really don't. Yes &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Added some context and also came to the conclusion that I should've never been allowed to write. Ever. Enjoy!</p><p>And I added a tag that I forgot like a dumbass.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You know, it's a funny thing- how something so unexpected can take your breath away. Because at first, he thought it was a joke. They knew it was bad, and Brian was stressed as all hell because he couldn’t get a clear shot. Being stuck on the ground while the targets on the roof makes for a <em>terrible</em> angle. But it wasn’t like there were any other buildings around to make it any easier, given that their isolated base was, well, isolated. The only thing that had any height to it that was even relatively close by were the pine trees that grew around here. But they had been heavily cleared around the base- not that it would’ve mattered how close the trees were given the snow. Too slippery to make an effective position. Luckily though, the trees were useful for one thing- out of their imposed perimeter, they’d grown thick enough for them to feel safe about hiding their vehicle in there. Which was where Brian and Daithi were right now- unable to help Dan other than getting ready to make a quick getaway and looking out for him at a distance. Seán and Kevin were more at a halfway point ready to receive Daniel in case he had company when he got down. But their lack of sight meant they had little to no warning. And you know… the first thing he felt was amusement. Like Dan was just telling a joke. ‘The dumbest move in his career’, that was… <em>supposed</em> to be funny… right? They knew it was bad. But the second Kevin saw a silhouette careening through the air, instinctively placing it as Dan, he knew he misjudged <em>how</em> bad it was.</p><p>And, he thought as his body jerked forward into motion, heavy boots sliding awkwardly through the snow, would it be wrong of him to admit that his first thought was ‘oh no, I thought <strong><em>I</em></strong> was the dumbass’? He managed to turn his awkward lurch into a sprint, feet pounding against the snow even as they threatened to slip out from under him with every step as he pushed himself to go even faster. ‘Catch me’, what, was he a fucking idiot?! If he tried to catch him normally, they’d <em>both</em> die, which <em>really</em> wasn’t an ideal outcome. Now how would he- a gunshot rang out from behind him and it took every ounce of his self control to not startle, to not miss a step, to not screw this up. He knew that sound. He’d heard it several times before. His mind supplied a picture of Brian shooting his gun. He was covering them- the enemies must be getting close to the roof’s edge.</p><p>It brought with it a sort of awareness to him, a calmness that came from knowing his back was covered, and he noticed that he wasn’t doing this alone- Seán keeping pace alongside him. He didn’t dare look over. Seeing him through the corner of his eye was enough. Dan was fast approaching the ground, arms and legs spread out to slow himself down. Good and bad. It would be harder to catch him, but also easier to catch <em>up</em> to him. Another shot rang out. Another foot against the ground. They were closing in on the building- Dan falling too far, too fast. Kevin only allowed himself a split second to think what would happen if they didn’t get there in time before he pushed it roughly aside, legs pumping harder against the frost-laden ground. They weren’t close to the building- what wouldn’t have been enough had Dan just… fell, but luckily Dan must’ve fucking WENT for it, because they didn’t need to go much closer.</p><p>But all too soon, things were going too fast. Dan was going to hit either the ground or them VERY soon. Kevin didn’t have enough time to think of a plan. His mind whirled frantically, scrambling desperately for an idea. <em>Any</em> idea. Something was thrown towards him and he blindly caught it, having just enough time to recognize that it was fabric before he realized that he was too late to figure something out. After all this, was Dan going to die?! Dan’s body came even closer. There wasn’t any plan! He couldn’t- the blur of Dan’s body went to the right of him and Kevin didn’t even have time to think before the fabric in his hands jerked hard. The conflicting momentum ripped his feet out from under him, his side slamming against the ground as his head collided with… somebody’s ribs.</p><p>He felt the distinct pain of somebody's knee bashing into his stomach before they lay momentarily still. Winded, he scrambled upwards, trying his hardest to escape the odd tangle of limbs as he felt someone doing the same. A struggle that ended up with him getting accidentally(?) punched for his troubles. He flailed his own arms in an involuntary response, feeling his forearm connect in a bruising- to him at least, ow- strike. When another, now unfamiliar, gun went off, the bundle of limbs and sharp elbows seemed to realize that if they didn’t get their shit together, things would get <em>significantly</em> more dicey. He tried his hardest to slide out from the pile instead of standing up, and it worked! Though not before a foot came DANGEROUSLY close to hitting his groin, whacking- with no small amount of force- against his thigh. Finally, <em>finally</em>, he recovered enough to stand up and realize that; one, the fabric he had caught was Seán’s jacket, and that they’d managed to use it to help break Dan’s fall. The second was that Dan hadn’t moved at all, and there was a spreading patch of blood on Seán’s jacket. Shit.</p><p>Seán and Kevin caught each other's eyes and came to a silent understanding. Without needing to say anything, Kevin grabbed Dan’s legs as Seán grabbed his arms. And together they accomplished what had to be the best damn impression of two men stealing a corpse the world has ever seen. Or, at least, he hoped it was an impression- but he was at <em>least</em> seventy percent sure that he’d seen Dan breathing. Besides, it was hardly ‘stealing’. He’s, like, <em>pretty</em> certain that Dan would prefer to keep his corpse out of enemy hands. He’ll have to ask him about it later. Their not-corpse jostled awkwardly but inevitably between them as they booked it as fast as they physically could without losing their footing, stumbling into an awkward rhythm. He took a second to look down at Dan on a more clear stretch, a burst of relief that made him almost lose his footing hitting him when he saw Dan’s eyelids flicker. He lives! He is indeed a not-corpse! <em>Thank fucking <strong>god</strong></em>.</p><p>He looked back up, just in time to avoid tripping over a branch. Right. Focus. More gunshots ring out from both sides, the sharp retorts clear in the air. He glanced just ahead, seeing Brian providing cover for them, steely features unwavering as he took shot after shot. Daithi must be the one driving. He wasn’t certain that that was safe, exactly, considering he’d been knocked out not too long ago, but he wasn’t exactly in a position to say anything given- uh, given. Anyway. That’s not important. What was important was that they were in the homestretch! Well, kinda. They still needed to get in the car and then drive to the nearest hospital all the while coming up with excuses about how they got their injuries. You know, the normal stuff. But until then, passing the boundary of trees was pretty close!</p><p>The thick carpet of pine needles gave their shoes something to grip onto, steadying their mad dash. Now it looked less like a cartoon of two men stealing a body, what with their feet windmilling out from under them, and now it looked more realistic! That’s pretty exciting! But seriously though, it made Dan jostle a little bit less and he considered that a win. All of this couldn’t have been good for his injuries. The humvee was close now, and just as he’d guessed, Daithi was in the driver's seat. When he spotted them, Kevin saw him turning the key and watched as the vehicle came to life. Unfortunately, the back door was closed, and so they were forced to enter the humvee in an unspectacular fashion, with Seán taking both of Dan’s wrists precariously in one hand while he opened the car with his other.</p><p>Safely in the back of the vehicle, they laid Dan down on the seats, pausing only briefly to steady him as Daithi hit the gas, heading towards Brian’s position. Seán pulled out the first aid kit, feet bracing against the irregular rocking as Daithi drove over the uneven terrain. Kevin removed the soaked fabric that Dan must’ve put on- wait. How long ago did this happen? What the <strong>fuck</strong>, Daniel? He’d assumed that it had happened on the roof, but given the ‘bandage’ and how pale he was, he must’ve had it for a while now. The little shit must’ve gotten it and not fucking told them. How long ago did it happen? Didn’t he know this could get infected? Why didn’t he tell them? Oh and now he was waking up. Fantastic.</p><p>“Mgh?” Dan blearily opened his eyes, hissing slightly as he came into awareness.</p><p>“Hey, Dan,” He said as he removed the last of the ruined fabric, “Can you do me a favor and say ‘I’m a dumbass’?”</p><p>“‘Mmmm a... dummbassss?”</p><p>“Perfect!” He grinned at Dan, whose arm shook itself slightly upwards, hand trembling as he gave Kevin one of the worst thumbs up he’s ever seen.</p><p>Cute. He didn’t know just how <em>much</em> trouble he was in. Seán came in closer to wash out the area, causing Dan to flinch and squirm away. Sighing, Kevin grabbed Dan’s shoulders, holding him down as Seán continued to work. It seemed that he’d been shot, but it looked like it just grazed him. Good, having a bullet inside of you was never a fun experience. He felt the humvee tilting into a drift and knew that they must be reaching Brian’s position. He looked up through the window. Brian, at least, got a proper entrance into the vehicle, a real ~agent move~ in which he narrowly avoided being hit by Daithi, and proceeded to<em> jump halfway through the fucking window just to whack him for it</em>.</p><p>“FUCK OFF! I’M DRIVING HERE!”</p><p>“I CAN SEE THAT! DID YOU EVEN GET A LICENSE?! LIKE, LEGALLY!?!” He pulled himself in the rest of the way, tossing his sniper into the back. “NO, REALLY, HAVE YOU EVER, AND I MEAN <em>EVER</em> DRIVEN BEFORE?!”</p><p>Daithi didn’t answer, instead stomping on the gas as they all resolutely ignored the sound of bullets hitting the car. Brian gave him a Look before sliding into the back. He glanced over at the three of them before putting his sniper up and grabbing a water bottle that he tossed to Kevin, who had to quickly remove one of his hands off Dan’s shoulder to catch it. Brian then, very calmly, grabbed another gun and proceeded to make certain that nobody would follow them. Well. Alright. Kevin opened the bottle. Forgot what he was doing. Closed it. Remembered again and immediately cursed at himself. It was just… not a good day, okay? Reopening the bottle, he lifted Dan’s head up, allowing Seán to pass him a small pill that he gave to Dan, tipping the water bottle back to let him wash it down.</p><p>Closing it back up, he grabbed Dan’s shoulders again, just as Seán pulled out a thin curved needle. Huh. There must be no hospitals nearby. He really should’ve listened to the briefing better. Seán sat patiently for a moment before Dan gave him the okay and he began suturing the wound. Dan wasn’t moving as much, but the vehicle sure was, and even with Daithi calling out rough patches so that Seán wasn’t working during them, it was still necessary for Kevin to hold Dan still. Which was kinda weird is he was being honest. If he just thought about it as a really intense blood drive, it would solve nothing, but dammit, he was really more used to being on the other end of this.</p><p>Not even from fights either, he was a decent shot and he knew that if he fucked up, he was gambling with his life and theirs. The problems usually stemmed from him fucking around and finding out. Usually, ‘finding out’ meant something like, ‘oh, you guys were right, the knife song <em>was</em> a bad idea' or ‘hey, so, uh, that one building off to the side? Yea, that’s where they keep their <em>very</em> angry dogs’. So to say he felt strange that he was the one helping would be to put it lightly. He should really stop messing around, but even as he thought about it, he knows he’s not going to. Ah well, it wasn’t like <em>he</em> was planning on getting shot. Not that it hadn’t happened before, fine, but he didn’t hide it at least. Er, wait. Once. It happened just <em>once</em> so it didn’t count. Besides, who didn’t hide a lil’ stab wound every once and a while, huh? That’s a normal thing, right?</p><p>For a while, the vehicle was silent, the silence punctuated only by the odd gunshots before Brian finally ducked his head back in, giving them a small thumbs up before heading up to sit with Daithi. He could just hear a quiet bickering start up before it abruptly ended. He sighed, idly wondering if they’d actually kill him if he suggested couples therapy before deciding it was probably best to just ignore it. Oh, and Seán was done. Almost. Kevin watched as he steadily wound a bandage around the wound.</p><p>“So, Dan,” Seán started as he leaned back from his handiwork, a thinly veiled dangerous note in his tone, “When, exactly, did you get shot?”</p><p>Dan’s head snapped up, and though Kevin didn’t get a full glimpse of it, he knew that his expression held only one word, ‘Fuck’. Kevin just smiled and shook his head. There was no way in hell Dan was getting out of this one. He passed Dan the water bottle, patting his shoulder before mouthing ‘good luck’ to him.</p><p>“Kevin, wait, please-"</p><p>He found himself a distraction and made himself quiet as the lecture started, unable to stop himself from grinning at the fact that it wasn’t him for a change. If only he could convince his shaking hands that things were okay now. Things were okay, he repeated to himself as their voices washed over him. They were okay. It was okay. Kevin finally allowed himself to relax.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Seán stole the shared braincell for this entire thing. Rude. Brian takes a turn lecturing Dan too because he borrowed the braincell. In case anybody was wondering where the fanart went, I planned it before I wrote the chapter and as I wrote it out, it didn't fit in anymore. Whoops. And another thing that I couldn't fit in were some headcanons I have, so I might add them to one of the alternate endings which you guys suggested, but I don't know if I'll write, idk, motivation sucks. Also sorry if the ending wasn't the best, I had NO idea how to close this</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Alt ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just some alternate endings as suggested by commenters (thank you guys!). I didn't write out too much for these and they might be a slight bit rushed bc while writing them I thought up some other stuff I'm pretty excited about lmao</p><p>Also, can I just say that it makes me so damn happy that I can just go Full Bastard while writing and get... compliments for it?!? Y'all are the absolute fuckin' coolest.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As suggested by 'brbgettingwine'</p><p> </p><p>The second his foot came off the railing was the exact moment he realized how stupid his plan was. A hysteric laugh bubbled over in his chest as gravity sunk its weighted hands into his body, pulling him down, down, down. His stomach dropped alongside every other part of him. He was- he was so high up. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck- FUCK! He was falling much, much faster than he would’ve liked. Ohgod. Oh <em>god</em> he was gOING TO <em>DIE</em>! Except... except for the fact that- that- he wasn’t falling anymore. What the hell?!? A rope snapped itself bruisingly around his chest, halting his momentum. He grabbed at his torso frantically, white-knuckling the rope. Something- something actually caught him. What were the odds? The whap-whap of helicopter blades finally broke through his stupor. Helicopter? He twisted as much as he could, just barely catching sight of the hovering black body above him. Who… who caught him? In a stunning moment of timing, his comm crackled to life.</p><p>“Dan! Do you like my new ride?! I got it for free by pickpocketing some dude!”</p><p>Kevin?!</p><p>“Kevin?! How did you catch- no, wait, do you even know how to drive this thing?!?”</p><p>Cheery laughter floated in an unsettling way through the comm.</p><p>“Dude, have you ever seen me play Red Dead Redemption? And no,” He added as the helicopter bobbed nauseatingly, “I have no idea!”</p><p>He’d rather have dropped. He decided there and then, with the helicopter seeming not moments away from crashing with Kevin laughing breezily in his ear that this was the most he’ll ever hate him in his entire life. He was, of course, proven wrong within the span of a few more seconds with Kevin pondering something with all the serious intonation of a madman that made Dan want to strangle him.</p><p>“Do you think this thing can do a barrel roll?”</p><p>“<strong><em>KEVIN</em></strong>!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As suggested by 'AgentVive' (a bit of this was just straight up taken from their comment- they got the tone spot on!)</p><p> </p><p>Launching himself off of the roof with no other plan than ‘catch me’ sounded pretty terrible in hindsight. And foresight. And just about every other -sight if he’d just thought about it for more than abouuuuuut two seconds. But, <em>really</em>, was it <em>honestly</em> the worst plan they’d ever come up with? No. The answer was, <em>unfortunately</em>, no. He… <em>kinda</em> wishes that it was in all honesty. But! It means that, by comparison, this wasn’t even, like, that bad! Right?! Right. He’ll go with that. Though, he supposes that it would, in fact, be <em>that</em> bad if he doesn’t survive this. In all of the other ones, they all got out safely… somehow. So, really, his pride was on the line here. If this somehow managed to be a worse plan than… um. That One, then it was a well and truly lost cause. He’s pretty certain it was now against regulations to even speak about it anymore.</p><p>Which, he wouldn’t lie, was probably for the best. And you wanna know something else? His entire internal monologue distracted him from thinking of a way out of this. Hell, he thought in a distant sort of way, he hadn’t even been taking in anything. His eyes flicked downwards, as if they’d just now realized he was in some sort of ‘danger’ bullshit. He hit the ground not even a second later. Kidding~ it’s even worse! He landed smack dab in the middle of an open truck bed full of identical white pillows. And while it certainly wasn’t worse for him, considering it broke his fall in what was probably the most painless way he could ask for- he’s pretty sure he spent a full minute in there while his brain tried it’s hardest to comprehend the stupidity of these people and the sheer amount of luck he never knew he had.</p><p>He… he didn’t even know why this was here?!? This sure as hell wasn’t a hotel or anything else that would need such a large quantity of pillows. Fact was, it couldn’t even be a hotel if it tried. The service was terrible, the furniture was <em>definitely</em> outdated and honestly their sense of ‘interior decorating’ would look more at home in a dumpster. And, he thought as his body finally jerked into motion, fingers clawing through the pillows as he attempted to escape the soft hell, he didn’t even spot any mints on any of these pillows. Not a <em>single</em> one. He hopped over the truck bed before dashing wildly across the snowy field. So if it were a hotel, he’s not ashamed to admit it deserved a full zero stars. Well- maybe a sixth of one for having live plants? But they’re on thin fucking ice.</p><p>“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CATCH ME!” You know, it was strange how easy it was to forget the gunshot wound he had if only because of the anger he had for just about everything in the known universe right now.</p><p>Seán’s dry voice came to life in his ear, “You were just fine. Nice aim by the way.”</p><p>Oh. Ohhhhh. They thought he went for the truck on purpose. Well. He, uh, he... wasn’t going to correct them. Not a chance. He cleared a log clumsily, motor functions not quite working as they should. Or, well, he guessed that they were working as they should given what has happened, but he means more so in comparison to usual. Blegh. He didn’t even need to explain this to himself but here he was. Brian spoke and while Dan couldn’t grasp what he said, he nearly burst into tears because of one simple fact. He wasn’t on a completely dumb team. Someone must’ve given Brian, their sniper, their comm so that he could stay connected. It was probably Daithi who couldn’t get back into action. After all of the bullshit he’d seen in the tower, he’s just so damn happy to know that his team had even the slightest bit of common sense. He could see them now, Kevin and Seán closer to him than the others.</p><p>His legs felt disembodied from him. It felt like there was a sprawling distance between himself and his own body. He doesn’t really need a second opinion to tell him that that’s probably not a good thing. Exhaustion dragged at his limbs, but to be honest there wasn’t much that he was going to allow to stop him now. If he can survive falling a couple stories after being shot, he can survive the run afterwards. That being said, he wasn’t going to deny that he was tired. You know what? He should’ve grabbed one of those pillows. You know, for the road. There’s some small part of him that wants him to turn on his heel to go back and grab one but it was easily overpowered by the logical side of his brain. Besides, he’s just about reached Kevin and Seán so he wasn’t just going to just immediately turn around simply because he wanted to steal a fucking pillow. It wasn’t even that tempting. Really. Not even a little bit. Alright, he should really stop letting the blood loss do all of the thinking.</p><p>He finally reached the two, allowing his pace to fall into a jog despite the fact that they were still far away from their vehicle. His mind turned staticy, and it really said something that even when he saw something moving underneath Kevin’s shirt, not a single alarm bell went off. With them, he felt safe. Irresponsible? Most definitely. But he found that he didn’t mind. When he becomes aware of his surroundings again, he won’t remember how he got back into the humvee. Nor how he got patched up. And he most certainly won’t know why there were feathers in the vehicle as well as a rattled-looking pigeon. But that didn’t matter right now. The simple fact was that, while he probably shouldn’t, he felt safe with them. And that was good enough for him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wtf was up with the pigeon? Well, it was my headcanon that I said wouldn't work- which is that Kevin is straight up a bird kleptomaniac purely for the chaos. Inspired by the goose comic? Hell yeah. Fortunately his habit of picking up birds is usually just a minor inconvenience- unfortunately that didn't apply when he somehow smuggled a cassowary into their humvee. Kevin is no longer allowed within a mile and a half of any zoo anymore.</p>
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